Bittersweet - Letter 5

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today's letter is about friendship. I know, you told me that I had more to offer than information about friendship. But, this is important to me, so please, hear me out. I want to share this with you, and all my readers out there.

Once upon a time, there was a little pony. Her friends introduced her to another pony, an older ony, who she looked up to like a big sister, and they did everything together. They were inseparable. And maybe sometimes this older pony had fits of jealousy and anger, but usually, she was a very sweet pony.

That pony's boyfriend was a mean and bitter pony, and the little pony often got into fights with him because of the things he said or did to his friends. And the longer the older pony stayed with that mean stallion, the meaner she got, too.

Eventually, a fight between the little pony and the mean stallion, now married to the little pony's friend, caused the older pony to verbally attack the little pony. Now, her temper had been worse and worse recently, and she was starting to become somepony the little pony didn't want to be around - and now, the older pony said things to the little pony, that nopony should say to anypony.

The little pony was me. Now, a long time has passed - oh so often, I think of trying to rekindle my friendship with this older pony, my friend, the pony I spent so long looking up to and admiring and helping. I've been thinking about it a lot recently.

But, just today, a friend of mine, Black Scepter, was talking to some other ponies about how he felt about something really important to him, talking about shrugging off when other ponies criticize something you like. Even though I heard her say almost exactly the same thing before, she really laid into him about it! Now, some of his words were a little harsh, but she was taking them to the absolute extreme. It all turned out to be a misunderstanding - but he shouldn't have to have apologized to her and seemed to have even been placating her over something so small. What he said wasn't anywhere near as bad as she made it out to be, and she had no right to yell and scream at him like that!

I realized why I stopped being friends with her in the first place - because she has become (or maybe, thinking back, maybe she always was) a mean and bitter pony. It felt really bad - bitter and hurtful, that I realized I probably won't ever be friends with her again. But... it also... felt really good, too, knowing I don't have to be upset about it. Knowing that now, I know what she's like. I used to blame it on her husband, but I realize that he was only part of it.

My lesson today is this: sometimes, the good things don't always make you feel good. And sometimes, the most bittersweet of things can be blessings in disguise.

Your faithful subject,
Midnite Brite

Letter 4 - Darkness

Dear Princess Celestia,

It’s been a while since I’ve written a letter. I’m not keeping this up as well or as often as I should; I’m sorry about that, Princess.

It’s sometimes hard for me to remember my responsibilities, especially since I still haven’t found a job or gotten much done. I need to clean my apartment, I need to do a million things, and sometimes it feels like too much. It doesn’t help that I really miss home.

See, I moved to Ponyville from a place called Manechester. A lot of my friends who lived there stayed and it’s hard for me to keep in touch with them. I used to be able to just walk down to their places and hang out with them whenever, but now I can’t do that. I want to see them all again, but I can’t. It’s really hard.

It doesn’t help that I’m not very good at making friends, either. With my depression it’s hard to leave my apartment some days, let alone talk to people. Most of my friends come from faraway places and I meet them through the internet or letters, like my pen pal, Movie Magic. Most other ponies think I’m strange, and the friends I made at my old job don’t really talk to me anymore.

Most ponies have brightly-colored coats and manes, but I have a black mane and a dark, blue-purple coat that stands out a lot. I also like nighttime better than daytime (I mean no offense, Princess Celestia) and often stay up late rather than going to bed early. I envy Princess Twilight – she has so many friends, and such very good ones, and I feel like I could never, ever be like her, even though I do have a lot of friends right now, because I can’t see them.

I applied for a job at a local store the other day, Princess, but they don’t have any place for me right now, even though they’re hiring. I can apply for support because I don’t have a job, but I’ve put it off for so long that I’m  afraid they’ll deny me. I’m not begging for help, Princess – just telling you about my problems. A lot of people keep offering and trying to help me, but that’s hard, because I don’t want to be a problem for or a burden on anyone. I feel like every moment someone else takes time for me, or gives to me, I’m proving more and more that I only drag this world down.

I don’t know that I have a lesson today, Princess. The world feels so dark right now, and it’s hard to see a way out, or learn anything at all. I haven’t written a good story in months, not since I lost my job, and my novel is at a standstill. Right now it feels like my lifeis on hold. But I guess I have to keep trying.

Thank you, Princess Celestia. Writing about these things really helps me. I hope to have a good update soon.

Sincerely,
Your faithful subject,
Midnite Brite

3rd Letter - Bad Day & Friendship

Dear Princess Celestia,

I am sorry that I haven’t written in so long. I’d like to say it’s because I’ve been busy, but mostly I’ve just been busy keeping myself occupied and trying to avoid the things I have to do. Sometimes it’s hard even for me to get out of bed every day, because I don’t want to deal with how sad I am. I made myself get up relatively early, for me, these days, and even now, at two o’clock, when I’m writing this, I might not have been up on any other day this week, because of how depressed I’ve been.

Sometimes, there’s no reason to depression. It just comes. I was talking to my mom earlier today, and we were having fun, singing songs we liked, talking about my writing, and suddenly, it felt like all the happiness drained out of me. It’s really scary when that happens, because all of a sudden, I didn’t feel like doing anything, I felt like I would never be happy again. All in the span of a few minutes.

I hope I’m not bringing you down, too, Princess, and anyone else who reads this after. I have good days, and bad days, and today was one of the bad.

Since I’ve made a promise to myself to talk about at least one good thing every time I write to you, though, I’ll tell you a little bit about my friends. Thinking about them and talking to them always makes me feel better. I’m thinking of putting a page on my blog, where I publish these, about them in case I reference them in future letters.

First I have to talk about my two amazing penpals, Movie Magic and Azure Dreams. Movie Magic is from Canterlot! She’s so amazing and stylish, and her passion is making videos and indie films. She’s so down-to-earth, and in our group, she represents the element of Honesty. She’ll always tell you how she feels, and I really admire her for her fearlessness. Azure Dreams is from Cloudsdale, and she would be the element of Kindness. I really wish Icould talk to her right now, because she’d know exactly what to say to help cheer me up, or what to do to help me out.

My beautiful stallion, Whitewing is next. I’m so thankful I have him in my life. Right now he’s living in Appleloosa, and I’m going to be moving soon to go live with him! He’s having sme hard times right now, too, and he also lives with depression. Still, he’s solid and dependable, and if I had to pick any element of Harmony that  he represented, it would be Loyalty.

Haalima is next, she’s amazing! She’s also an artist and she’s taught me a lot about art. She’s amazing and different and I love her to death. I know I can always talk to her when I’m upset. I don't know what element I'd say she was - she's kind of all of them! Maybe Generosity, because she's always giving of herself and helping others.

Just writing about and thinking about my friends is helping me feel better. I hope I haven’t bored you to tears with all of this, dear Princess, dear readers! Thank you all again.

Sincerely,
Midnite Brite

Re: Michael

Dear Midnite Brite,

Yes, I have heard about the case of poor young Michael. A lot of ponies feel the same way you do and are trying to help out - stylists, hooficurists, artists like yourself, even ponies far across Equestria are banding together to help Michael. Some of them are donating money; others are donating time, artwork, or simply even support. By writing this letter to me, you're helping Michael.

I do have information about resources and places you can go to donate to Michael's cause, and I'm including them in this letter. Also, the art donation you're mentioning is #ArtForMichael, which is a sub-project of You Will Rise, a project helping young ponies like Michael stand up to bullying, by asking them to express themselves through art. You absolutely should donate artwork to his cause - and encourage your readers to do so as well. You can find You Will Rise, and #ArtForMichael, at http://youwillriseproject.blogspot.com/p/artformichael.html.

Also, you can take this as a lesson for your readers and yourself - as down as you feel, there are always ponies out there who care about you.

Sincerely Yours,

Princess Celestia

P.S.: You and your readers can find out more about Michael, and donate to his cause, at http://michaelmorones.org

Concerning Michael

Dear Princess Celestia,

No art again - I'm sorry about that. But I'm writing you this time in regards to a very special little pony.

See, there's this colt named Michael. He's really young - he's only barely got his cutie mark. Recently, he started getting teased at school for liking a show made for fillies. Other ponies started calling him gay, because he liked 'girly' things. They picked on him relentlessly, Princess Celestia, and it's absolutely terrible.

But what's even more terrible is that Michael lost hope. Michael started to think that maybe, nopony in the world cared about him. Like it was never, ever going to get better.

Princess Celestia, Michael tried to take his own life.

It's hard even to write that, Princess. Have you heard of anyone doing it before? It's called 'suicide'. As a pony with depression, sometimes I think about it too, but I've never tried to do it. I've always known that there are ponies out there who love me, that they would miss me. That it would hurt them if I disappeared. I can't imagine what it must be like to be so far gone, to be so sad and so hurt, that you would actually do it.

The good news is that Michael survived, Princess. His family saved him. But they don't know if he's ever going to wake up. Right now, he's being kept alive by machines and unicorn magic, in a hospital where they can keep him breathing and give him nutrients, but they think he might have brain damage. They might not know for months, or years, if he'll ever be able to wake up.

It's just so sad, you know? For something as silly as liking something made for girls, ponies thought it was okay to push another pony to the point where he wanted to die.

I don't really know what to do or say - I wish there were something I could do to help. I want to reach out to Michael's family. I heard somepony is running a charity where you can donate art. Do you think I should do that?

Your faithful subject,
Midnite Brite

Second Letter - Hard Times

Dear Princess Celestia,

Sorry it’s taken me so long to write. I guess I’ve just been worried about what to say. And also, a lot of things are going on in my life right now. I don’t have a picture to attach at the moment – I’ll work on that for my next letter, as well as the pictures for all the other ponies who have helped me through this difficult time.

On Friday, I was fired from my job, Princess Celestia. I’m worried that I might lose my place to live, not to mention my ways of reaching out to the other ponies in my life. I’ve been very ill, you see, with a very bad flu that lasted for two weeks. Because I was too sick to go to a doctor, I couldn’t prove to my work that I had been sick, and so they let me go.

Yet, even as I write this, I can’t be too sad about it. I hated my job. With my schedule, I couldn’t talk to any of my friends. I think I was dying a little, not on the outside, but on the inside, because I wasn’t spending any time doing things I’m good at or enjoyed. My depression was getting worse and worse.

I’d really like to thank all the ponies in my life right now that helped me through this difficult time. My wonderful stallion, Whitewing. My mother and father. My pen pals, Azure Dreams and Movie Magic. They’ve been there with me through everything good and bad, and I don’t think I’d have been able to get through the things happening to me if they hadn’t.

Right now, I’m throwing myself into my creative work, using my special talent to do things I enjoy. I’m drawing again! I haven’t really seriously drawn in a long time. I’m writing, too, wonderful stories about far-off lands – even about humans! Humans are my favorite mythical creature. They’re so much like ponies, but they can do so many wonderful things.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if humans knew about Equestria. Sometimes I wonder if humans have depression, too. Wouldn’t that be so strange, Princess? I heard that for every pony, somewhere, there’s a human who’s almost exactly like them. So I’ve been writing about what I would be like as a human – I think she’d be incredible. Strong and kind, who always does the right thing. Humans have a larger sense of justice than ponies, or so I’ve heard.

You know, Princess, I think it’s working, too. I don’t feel as sad as maybe I should. My friends are helping me get through it day by day, week by week, as life goes up and down. 

I think this is my lesson that I’ve learned today – two of them actually. Your friends are the people who will always be there for you, no matter what; and sometimes what seems like a curse, is actually a blessing in disguise.

Thank you for your time, Princess.

Once again
Ever your faithful subject,
Midnite Brite

Re: Hello

My dearest Midnite Brite,

Thank you for writing to me.

As you know, my student, Princess Twilight Sparkle, sent me your letter just a few days ago after learning you were interested in sending it to me after all. I think the idea of writing more letters to me is a great one; it makes me glad to know that more and more ponies are looking up to Princess Twilight and her friends, and embracing the magic of friendship in their daily lives. The lessons friendship teaches us are amazing, and even I have learned a few of these lessons in my time.

However, I think you have more to teach us than just lessons about friendship. The lessons we learn about ourselves, just in overcoming our daily struggles, are just as important as the lessons others teach us; and I think your lessons deserve to be shared with others, not just myself.

So I have a task for you, Midnite Brite. I want you to continue writing these letters to me, and I will read them - but I also want you to share them with as many other ponies as possible. How you choose to do this is up to you, but perhaps it will allow you to use your special talent, as well, in a way that allows you to help other ponies.

I will definitely look forward to hearing more from you about your journey! The perseverance of my subjects never ceases to amaze me, and inspire me.

Please write again soon.

Yours,

Princess Celestia

PS: Also, if you could please attach a picture of yourself to your next letter, I would love to see it.